its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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