he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
