every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
do nipples grow back?
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