I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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