Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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