Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
