You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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