I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
