I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
