the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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