member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize