you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
