By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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