He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just found puke in my bra..
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
