I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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