He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
