OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
MIDGETS
????
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize