I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
