halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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