Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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