Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
