omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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