so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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