It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
