Your tits are I can't wait for
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize