i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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