umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
