she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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