3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
