Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
