My underwear smells like fireworks.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
