Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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