did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have tasted many bathrooms
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
