I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
