Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
