She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
