So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
