coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
