i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
