I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
