Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
