I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
