I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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