Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize