You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
