you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
