Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize