I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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