this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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