saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
