Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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