i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
