$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
