so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I believe in your delicious
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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