Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
