Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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