Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize