i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
