my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
