I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
