Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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