If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
