Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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