he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
