Acid is not a monday night drug
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize