he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
the day after is always just damage control
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
