Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Randomize
